CHAPTER 3 FIRE! ‘Hi, Andy,’ said Terry. ‘What’s the matter?’ ‘That fly!’ I said. ‘That’s what! I’m trying to get ideas for the next book but I can’t because it keeps buzzing around my head and distracting me.’ ‘Have you tried swatting it?’ said Terry. ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Of course I’ve tried swatting it!’ ‘Have you tried super-swatting it?’ ‘Yes!’ ‘What about spraying it?’ ‘YES!’ I said. ‘I’ve tried everything, even blasting it with the fly cannon—but it didn’t work. Nothing worked!’ ‘Maybe I can help,’ said Terry. ‘I could use my laser eyes!’ ‘Since when do you have laser eyes?’ I said. ‘Since this morning—when I invented them,’ he said. ‘Look, I’ll show you.’ Terry took a deep breath, focused on the fly and shot laser beams at it—right out of his eyes! The fly darted out of the way. Terry took another deep breath and fired again ... and again ... Terry’s laser beams were hitting everything—except for the fly, that is—and everything they hit burst into flames. ‘Terry!’ I yelled. ‘Stop! You’re setting the treehouse on fire!’ ‘Oops,’ said Terry. I grabbed an emergency bucket, filled it with water and threw it on one of the fires. ‘Don’t just stand there!’ I said to Terry. ‘Get a bucket and help me!’ Terry grabbed the other emergency bucket and filled it with water. ‘Oh no!’ he said. ‘It’s leaking. There’s a hole in my bucket!’ ‘Then fix it!’ I said. ‘Hey, that reminds me of a song!’ said Terry. Before I knew it, I was singing, too. (It’s a pretty catchy song.) Suddenly, Jill came rushing in. ‘FIRE! FIRE!’ she yelled. ‘Your treehouse is on fire!’ ‘We know!’ I said. ‘Then why are you just standing around singing? Why aren’t you putting it out?’ ‘Oh, for goodness sake!’ said Jill. ‘There’s a much faster way to put out fires than by singing songs about buckets!’ She grabbed an emergency hammer and smashed the glass on our fire alarm. The siren wailed and, within moments, the treehouse fire brigade rushed in and got straight to work. The Trunkinator was blasting water in all directions so fast it looked like he had three heads. (He didn’t really have three heads, although I sort of wish he did: a three-headed elephant would be really cool!) In no time at all, thanks to the brave firefighting crew, the fire was out and the tree was saved. ‘Thank goodness for the treehouse fire brigade!’ said Terry. ‘And thank goodness for me,’ said Jill. ‘If I hadn’t come along when I did you’d both still be singing that silly song while the treehouse burned down around you. Why was the treehouse on fire, anyway?’ ‘It was Terry’s fault,’ I said. ‘He did it with his new laser eyes.’ ‘Laser eyes?’ said Jill. ‘Yeah,’ said Terry. ‘I have laser eyes. I can show you if you like.’ ‘NO, TERRY!’ I said. ‘They’re too dangerous.’ ‘But what about the fly?’ said Terry. ‘What fly?’ said Jill. ‘That really annoying one,’ I said. ‘It’s driving me mad. I’ve tried swatting it, super-swatting it, super-spraying it and blasting it with the fly cannon, but it’s no use. It won’t die!’ ‘That poor fly,’ said Jill. ‘You mean that annoying fly,’ I said. ‘Buzz!’ buzzed the fly from the branch just above my head. ‘Nobody move,’ I whispered. ‘I have a plan.’ ‘You’re not going to hurt it, are you?’ said Jill. ‘No chance of that,’ I said. ‘I can’t hurt it. That fly is indestructible. I’m just going to give it a little holiday ... in my luxurious, super-modern, high-security fly hotel!’ ‘Andy!’ said Jill. ‘That’s not a fly hotel—it’s a bug catcher. Let it out right now!’ ‘No way,’ I said. ‘But it’s cruel,’ said Jill. ‘How would you like it if somebody trapped you in a bug catcher?’ ‘Well,’ I said, ‘I don’t suppose I would like it—but as if that’s going to happen!’ And then guess what? It did happen—well, something pretty similar to being trapped in a bug catcher, anyway. Suddenly, we found ourselves and our tree encased in a gigantic clear dome! ‘Did you order a tree dome, Terry?’ I said. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Did you?’ ‘Not that I recall,’ I said. ‘Then where did it come from?’ said Terry. ‘I think it might have something to do with that UFE up there,’ said Jill. ‘Don’t you mean UFO?’ I said. ‘No,’ said Jill, pointing at a large oval object hovering above the tree. ‘Look! It’s definitely a UFE—an unidentified flying eyeball.’ ‘Wow!’ said Terry. ‘A giant flying eyeball! That’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!’